The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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