so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Never let your siblings swipe right.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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