The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize