No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He passed out mid-signature
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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