He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
