three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
