your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
