You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
