I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
