But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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