Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
