I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
