Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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