trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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