Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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