singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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