okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Couch. On fire.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
