I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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