We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
