Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think your dad took our porno
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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