Who wears a wallet chain?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
