Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
