You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
