saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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