I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
