Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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