At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
