So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
