See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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