You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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