Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
