I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
