She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
