Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize