Porn is love you can see.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize