porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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