I love having hate sex.
should my penis look like a turkey
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Green mimosas i think yes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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