This girl is more easily done than said...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
