i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize