No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
