It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
