To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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