My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
