come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I came so hard my ears popped.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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