Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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