Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
