i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
