Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize