yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
