So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
