Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize