apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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