I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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