Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
