so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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