I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
