Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize