on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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