i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
