Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
