Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
