I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
