: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
