I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
