You can't special order awesome
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
