I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize