I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize