She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
