People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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