I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize