dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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